Chitanzer

Can get you a request from me.  It can literally be anything.  The amount of work and effort I'll put into the request depends on if I like the request, how many points are donated or what the request is.  I will not, however, give you crap art.  

Note me if you're interested, if you leave a comment detailing what you want I will ask you to resend it to me in a note.  

I must receive the donation before I will post your request.

Dear ,

I can't believe you peed on all of my adopted children! How could you?! I always knew you were a large cantankerous pineapple, ever since that time when you and I had that weenie-roast on a roller coaster. I just wanted to let you know that our oddly arousing friendship is over and that you're a complete sweaty corner whore with no respect for my nacho cheese dip! However, I will always keep you close to my collection of dangerous explosives, keeping our everlasting memories locked in my closet with your hot sister/brother. Maybe one day you'll go streaking at Disneyland. That would make me rub my nipples continuously for an hour.

I hate you forever, .



Letter meme :

Dear (Name),

I can't believe you (#1)! How could you?! I always knew you were a (#2), ever since that time when (#3)(#4). I just wanted to let you know that our (#5) is over and that you're a complete (#6) with no respect for my (#7)! However, I will always keep you close to my (#8), keeping our everlasting memories (#9). Maybe one day you'll (#10). That would make me (#11).

(#12), (Your name.)


#1: What is your favorite color?
Red: Shit on my horse
Orange: Stole that poor man's ostrich
Yellow: Came in my Mother's hat
Green: Peed on all of my adopted children
Blue: Ate all of my delicious rat poison
Purple: Tore off my dog's eyebrows
Pink: Cremated my "My Little Pony" collection
Other: Stirred my coffee with your dick

#2: Which would you rather eat right now?
Cereal: Fetus
Chinese Takeout: Large cantankerous pineapple
Pizza: Dirty disease-ridden skankasaurus rex
Soup: Pair of used underpants
Pasta: Ghetto booty queen
Salad: Camel-toe
Turkey Sandwich: Endangered species
Fruit: Mashed potato
Ice Cream: Jehovah's Witness
Steak: Giant buttmunch

#3: What month were you born?
January: You and I had that weenie-roast on/in
February: I saw you ride that unicorn into/in
March: I neutered your cat on/in
April: You forgot to look for me while we were playing hide and seek on/in
May: You made sexual advances towards my dog on/in
June: You and I ate all of those aborted fetuses on/in
July: You crossed the Canadian border into/on
August: I saw you lick that hobo's shins on/in
September: I slept with your boyfriend/girlfriend on/in
October: Our butts merged into one on/in
November: You bungee jumped nude in my closet on/in
December: We went cross-dressing with Hitler on/in

#4: Out of these choices, what is your favorite animal?
Dog: the burning orphanage across the road
Cat: my pube forest
Horse: my bedsheets
Rat: the Soul Train
Lion: my uterus
Giraffe: a roller coaster
Bear: a rainbow unicorn
Fish: the strip club
Bird: prison
Snake: the Pope's hat
Ferret: a hearse on the way to a stranger's funeral

#5: What age group do you belong to?
10-15: secret gay relationship
16-18: pregnancy
19-21: oddly arousing friendship
22-24: days of baby punting and seal clubbing
25+: passionate, titillating romance

#6: What is your favorite season?
Winter: pulsating whale boner
Spring: blubbering imbecile
Summer: can of artificially flavored processed assholes
Fall: sweaty corner whore

#7: What is the last letter of your first name?
A/B: delicate figure
C/D: collection dirty underwear
E/F: large rocket boner
G/H: trousers
I/J: dog's privacy
K/L: unborn mystery child
M/N: awkward friendship with Darth Vader
O/P: lovely lady lumps
Q/R: 1337 (|-|475P34|< 5|<i11z
S/T: nadsack
U/V: large mole on my toe
W/X: plots to take over Canada
Y/Z: nacho cheese dip

#8: What is your favorite number out of this sequence?
3: collection of dangerous explosives
9: penis
101: throbbing red thing in my chest
26: laundry bin
789: nose hairs
83: nothing
555: hot, sweaty fat rolls

#9: What is your least favorite word listed here?
Burger: totally weak so I forget them in a few hours
Diarrhea: strong and as awkward as ever
Moist: stowed away in the recesses of my mind
Slut: locked in my closet with your hot sister/brother
Wet: short and sweet
Decay: in the box I keep your hair in

#10: Which place would you rather visit?
USA: Change your socks
England: Go streaking at Disneyland
China: Burn down a hospital
Japan: Dance with a Sasquatch
Africa: Change your underwear
Antarctica: Get plastic surgery
Russia: Get a sex change
Germany: Command an army ultra-intelligent lizards
Australia: Turn into a balloon
Canada: Stop sniffing my earlobes
South America: Pee without missing the toilet

#11: What color is your hair?
Blonde: moist
Brown: rub my nipples continuously for an hour
Black: absolutely sick
Red: turn into a duck
Dyed: so super duper happy slappy

#12: What color are your eyes?
Blue: I hate you forever
Brown: Don't touch me like that anymore
Hazel: Quit dragging your tongue across my forehead
Green: Sinfuckingcerely
Other: I still watch you while you sleep


I'm not tagging anyone but this was rather cute and if you wanna do this be my guest.

Rules:
1) You MUST post the rules.
2) Each person MUST post 5 things about themselves in their journal.
3) Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4) You have to choose 11 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
5) Go to their page and tell them you have tagged them.
6) NO TAG BACKS!
7) No stuff in the tagging section about "You're Tagged If You're Reading This" You legitimately have to tag 11 people.

Five Facts:
1. I talk to everything and name everything. ( For example: My computer's name is Charlotte, my piggy bank is Jeffery Von-Vardes...)
2. I know how to turn my emotions off and on.
3. I forget to breath when I concentrate on something. (like my drawings)
4. I still love fairy tales. (especially after they've been twisted someway or another)
5. I carry my sketch book around with my EVERYWHERE.  It is a very odd/rare day that I do not have it.

Q and A:
1. Given the chance, who would you most want to meet, and how would that encounter go?
David Tennant the 10th Doctor.  Cause I was recently watching Doctor Who for the first time and he's my favorite of the Doctor's incarnations... The meeting would probably be like... with me turning 6 shades of red after I shook his hand or something ... I don't know I've never met a famous person before.    I doubt I'd manage to actually say anything besides "Hi."

2. If you could only listen to five song for the rest of your life, what would those five songs be?
      1. www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNzs5f… Interview - AFI
      2. www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxDcWv… Don't Care - Apocalyptica
      3. www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZ95vH… Over Beethoven - ROSE
      4. www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPDahF…; Mitternacht- E Nomine
      5. www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBr_vp… Gay Boyfriend - The Hazards

3. What do you find inspiration in?
Anything and everything... just depends on how I see whatever it is I'm observing.

4. Whether you write, draw, paint, sculpt, etc., what do you believe has shaped the style you use in your art?
Anime.    I'm strongly influenced by Rumiko Takahashi's drawing style because I loved InuYasha when I started drawing in anime style.  But it pick up things here and there from other anime and manga.

5. What is one of your biggest quirks?  We all have them.
I zone out way too easily. When I zone out everything around me becomes like ... collateral damage and I hear, see and feel nothing around me.  It's just me and my thoughts.

6. What vegetable elicits the most negative emotions from you?  Why do you feel that way about that certain vegetable?
I think it's green beans.... I love green beans ... but I had an incident with them so now I don't eat them unless I am present for their cooking and such.  (I used to eat green beans at school all the time until I found a fingernail in it.  *shudders*)

7.  Are you irritated with my questions yet? ;D
um... nope.

8. If you saw a unicorn, how would you react?
mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine ...

9. Which season could you live without and why?
Summer.  I like Spring, Fall and Winter.  I do not like how hot Summer is and I don't like the bugs and I don't like the sun so Summer is a not happy season for me.... but I tolerate it better than my mother does.

10. Do you have a certain place you like to go when you need to think or just want to be alone?  You don't have to say where it is but why do you find that place so appealing?
My bedroom.  Because it is my room.

11. What is your absolute favorite meal? Include main dish, beverage, and desert!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ...I forget what it's called but it's from Cracker Barrel... it's like um...  smothered chicken covered in cheddar cheese and beacon with (my choice) Mashed potato's, sweet carrots and cinnamon apples.  With a sprite and I never get desert. (don't need nor want it)


Questions For the Next Victims:
1. What is your favorite fairy tale?
2. Do you put your left or right shoe on first?
3. What is your favorite book?
4. Do you ever feel the urge to murder your phone?
5. What's your favorite, totally out there, color? (aqua marine, Cadmium Yellow, ect.)
6. Where's your favorite place to nap?
7. What should you actually be doing instead of being on the internet?
8. What's your favorite animal?
9. Which Shrek movie was your favorite?
10. Could you spare a cup of sugar?
11. Do you like the rain?


The unfortunately tagged: